With Euro 2016 fever starting to build, and everyone’s favourite TV show, Game of Thrones, starting it’s most exciting series so far, it got us thinking. If national teams were thrown into George R. R. Martin’s world, which houses would they be?
House Lannister – Germany
Rich, powerful and constantly scheming. A decade ago the German’s revolutionised their youth programme and emerged two summer’s ago as the world’s greatest team. Now sitting pretty on the throne of world football, they will be grimly aware of the various plots to bring them down.
When Tywin Lannister was killed the figurehead of the Lannisters was gone, something Germany will also have to contend with this summer, as they march on France without the likes of Philip Lahm and Bastian Schweinsteiger.
House Martell – Spain
Aside from the fact that much of the Dorne scenes are filmed in sunny Andalusia, the Spanish and House Martell are not so different. They may not be the biggest or the burliest, but they can deliver a very nasty shock, which for La Roja comes in the form of a quick passing game, rather than a nasty dose of poison.
House Stark – France
The once powerful House Stark has been beaten, bloodied and scattered to the wind, and one cannot help be reminded of France, who have suffered from a similar fall from grace. However, the younger generation look tough and determined to succeed, despite the trials and tribulations they will face.
However, the Karim Benzema and Mathieu Valbuena incident certainly has a touch of Lannister about it.
House Targaryen – Italy
With the Mad King (Mario Balotelli) gone and the old empire in tatters, Italy like House Targaryen have to put their hope in a new, and very different generation.
In the old days the Targaryen’s kept order with a fleet of dragons, while Italy imposed themselves with a near impenetrable wall of defenders. Now it’s the likes of Verratti, who certainly has more than a drop of the Targaryen’s firey temper, who will need to rebuild the empire.
House Baratheon – England
The members of House Baratheon spend much of their time making grand and self important claims to things (mostly the Iron Throne) before failing in fairly spectacular style.
We had Renly Baratheon amass a huge and powerful army, complete with the formidable Brienne of Tarth, before being offed before he could even march to war. Then we saw a slightly more sustained claim for the throne from everyone’s favourite, grumpy old Stannis. His ill fated march on Winterfell ended up in a brutal defeat.
It’s certainly got more than a hint of England in that, lots of pre-tournament excitement and grand claims, before a battering in the groups and a swift exit. At least the England lads get a flight home instead of a sword to the vital organs.
House Bolton – Russia
They may not be all that popular outside their own country, but Russia will be no strangers to that feeling and like the Boltons will be determined to succeed in spite of this.
At least their opponents won’t have to fear a half-time flaying if they get stumble into the wrong dressing room, although they may be on the wrong end of an icy stare from Putin.
House Tully – Austria
They might not be the most glamorous house out there, but the Tully’s are determined, unified and greater than the sum of their parts.
Austria might not have the big names (David Alaba aside) but their unity will see them through the tougher times.
House Frey – Sweden
A rag-tag group surrounded by their menacing and all-powerful leader, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, sorry, we mean Walder Frey.
Most of House Frey are unknown to even the most die-hard of Game of Thrones fans, and, perhaps harshly, the same can be said of Sweden.
House Tyrell – Belgium
New on the scene and still getting used to being in a position of power, House Tyrell are still vying with the other families to take their piece of Westeros, and Belgium are going to have to do the same.
The Belgian’s enjoyed a strong start to the World Cup, but couldn’t quite turn their abundant individual talents into a major success. Eden Hazard, the golden boy of the group and Belgium’s answer to Ser Loras Tyrell might be struggling too, but the at least he isn’t held captive by the Faith.
House Greyjoy – Portugal
While everyone is looking to Ronaldo / Theon, who is often more than a little impotent with it comes to finding the back of the net in major finals, everyone is busy overlooking the other big personalities in the family.
The Greyjoy’s are more than just Ronaldo, and Portugal are more than just the big man, except surprises from Neves and Sanches on the pitch, and surprises from Yara and Euron in the series!
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