1) The US squad is playing like a high school team. It’s true they have some quality players, but I haven’t seen them string together passes more than a few times. They’re trying to bypass the midfield in offense — what is this, the 1950s? It says a lot when they’re playing Wambach like Mourinho plays Drogba, in the “battering ram” position, and they’re not playing their best playmaker Aly “Valderrama” Wagner.

2) N. Korea, on the other hand, is playing smooth like butter. Their defense on set pieces is atrocious but they’re moving the ball well, have the US chasing at shadows, and are shooting well from distance. And this is on a wet pitch and after losing their main playmaker to injury. A team to watch this tournament for sure, it’s like they’ve been watching contraband total futball videos (and the US has been watching the NFL.)

And I can’t really take issue with your description of the quality of the game as a whole.

If one is paying any attention at all, the thing to do with the group games seems to be to wait for the highlights. A remarkable percentage of the goals so far have been either appalling keeper errors or very well executed free kicks. The Germans have been the only team I’ve seen so far that can really string together passes and organise attacks consistently.

Also, the best goal ever scored by a Canadian was at the U-17 women’s world cup a few years ago, when Lang scored almost from half-way (this was when she was a winger, before her conversion to a centre-half).

That said, the slower pace of the game takes some getting used to. And Urs is right about the huge gulfs in quality - there are at most ten teams worth watching. But more teams do seem to be climbing into the higher-quality zone. It used to be just China, US, Norway and Germany (plus Sweden and Canada on good days). Brazil’s women’s team was not very good eight years ago but is quite handy now.

But equally I have always felt uncomfortable watching females playing a game that is essentially a contact sport. Call my old fashioned if you like, but I prefer women to be feminine rather than kicking seven bells out of each other.

However, in the interests of fair play I did find find myself watching the England versus Japan match yesterday. It was like watching one of those movies that is so bad, you keep on watching because you hope it’s going to get better. Sadly, it didn’t and that’s my main reason for disliking the female game. In terms of quality, it simply isn’t very good.

The early rounds can be tedious, because the gulf in quality between the top four to eight teams and the rest is so large, but I would suggest giving one of the later round matches a chance. The Germans, in particular, play a very attractive passing game, and have a genuinely lethal finisher in Prinz.

It probably comes from my bad memories of watching my high school’s girls’ soccer team during every home game for four years. At least I got paid for that.