As you may or may not have noticed, we have attempted something of a Beckham hiatus these past few days. From the Becks-cam to the scalpers to the incessant media coverage to the bloggers complaining about the incessant media coverage to — well, you get the idea.

But this article in the Washington Post on last night’s Galaxy game in DC, “Stoked for Beckham, Even in the Top Row”, reaches such a crescendo of absurdity that it is worth quoting from.

Now, let me first state, I don’t want to be mean-spirited and make fun of the people going to MLS games just to watch Beckham because he’s hot. My girlfriend thinks he’s hot, too, and is looking forward to his appearance in Chicago (though, to be fair, she has gamely watched some of the most miserable soccer in the country on numerous occasion already at Toyota Park this year). And, you know, men really shouldn’t complain about women turning athletes into objects, should they?

But really, the two girls quoted in the article take the proverbial biscuit. Here’s how they discovered soccer, and why they were at the game:

While studying in Europe during college, Jessica Gould and Christine Raymond discovered the chaotic world of professional soccer, in Italy and England, respectively — two nations that are much more passionate about the sport than the United States is.

They didn’t become die-hard fútbol fans, but they did latch on to England’s superstar midfielder, David Beckham. They never saw him play in person, so when he joined the Los Angeles Galaxy, the 26-year-old friends from Arlington immediately figured out when he, and the Galaxy, would play D.C. United.

Their words provide proof that Beckham doesn’t actually have to play at all; he just has to be there to be adored. All his fans need is just the merest prospect that they could soak in an ounce of that superstar aura, to feel the eternal presence of David Robert Joseph Beckham, if only for a fleeting second:

I told them earlier we should stay around until everyone leaves and ask if we can go sit where he sat on the bench…I think I put so much expectation on him, that I don’t know if he could ever live up to it…It was almost better when he was sitting.

(Thanks to ursus actos for the find)